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Why Pulling Away from What Is Hard Always Makes It Worse | Pema Chödrön


Did you have a chance to check out this short interview with Pema Chödrön? When my life was falling apart (again) in 2004, my therapist referred me to Pema's book, When Things Fall Apart. It was truly eye-opening to me... and counterintuitive. It's a lesson I get to learn over and over again: Pulling away from what is hard makes it worse.

I was raised with "When the going gets tough, the tough get going [away from the tough, preferably]." Leaning into the "hard" just didn't make sense.

But in college, I read, Zami, A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde. That woman knew how to lean into hard. She didn't just lean in, she soaked it in, embraced it, reframed it, and welcomed it. She made it her friend. Keep your enemies closer? That's a jest, but kind of true.

Do we see the hard things as our enemies? In that case, come on enemies. I must know you to love you.

Do you have enemies in your life? Pain, loneliness, disappointment, fear? There are too many to name. In fact there are so many that a person could drown in them. Maybe it's better to float and feel the sun on your face.

I'm going to drink some tea and re-watch the video. If you would like to join us, I'll see you shortly on Zoom for a heartfelt discussion. All are welcome.

Blessings and breath,
Alane
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Hi! I'm Alane Freund.

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