Dear Reader,

In one week, Rulz 4 Girlz launches! Are you raising a girl, dating a girl, loving a girl, living as a girl? EVERYONE knows the rules society foists onto girls. In fact, most adults inadvertently perpetuate them because they are embedded in our culture.
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Parents, and frankly all of us, need help! It can start as simply as a list of dos and don'ts. Next week, we are creating that list at Rulz 4 Girlz, May 21st, 1pm PDT on Zoom.

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Are the rules all negative? No... but frankly the underlying culture is still hurting our girls (and through them all of our kids!)

As a family therapist supporting educators, health care providers, and families, I run into these rules daily. AND I WANT THEM CHANGED.

Change begins with me/us:

• The thoughts we have about girls and women (including ourselves)
• The way women talk and think about themselves
• The comments we make about female identified people we see
• Not helping girls by helping them (in the wrong situations)
• Paradoxical and contradictory expectations we have of girls

An example of contradictory expectations? They look like: "Be strong, successful, rich, powerful, outspoken... BUT also, be soft, pretty, thin, weak, respectful, deferential (especially to the cute boy sitting next to you on the couch at a party, the adult in charge of you, or in front of your friends when they might be feeling insecure).

We have had cultural waves of raising up girls and women over the decades, but the insidious messages are still sneaking into childhood resulting in the same ole mental health challenges.

I'm eager for a conversation about expressing unconditional positive regard in our families and culture, and along the way, we might just offer some gentle healing of the wounds of our own childhoods.

Here's to breaking the rules and creating NEW ones,
Alane

Alane Freund, MS, MA​
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (Lic. #LMFT36077)
International Consultant on High Sensitivity
​P 415-203-6600 E alane@areyouhighlysensitive.com

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